It’s been 23 days since we have been quarantined due to the OVID-19 that we have all gotten used to. At the start it wasn’t that bad, I for one was enjoying the offs that I had gotten from the university since I got the much-needed break which I didn’t previously and had too much to recover from.

We didn’t get that many cases in comparison to other countries at first but slowly and gradually the count continued to rise every day. Many of us still fail to take it seriously and going out without a mask is pretty common.

We are stupid people after all. We fail to take precautions and fail to take anything seriously until it happens to us.

With every passing day, I started to get more and more time on my hand and I have no idea what to do with it. Social Media has gotten mundane yet it is a trap I do not seem to get out of. I mean I do have a lot to read since I get bored with reading no matter how much I love it. I can study and catch up on a lot of things but pointless things seem to occupy my mind.

It’s a weird loop I got stuck into with no way out. I am struggling.

Social Media doesn’t help too anymore. With so much to read and find out every single day, I see something that leaves me disillusioned and wanting to pull my hair out. I see something which leaves me marveled or shook to my core and I keep thinking about it.

Thinking has turned into one of my favorite hobbies but what is the point of it all? In the post-modern world that we live in thinking does not get us anywhere doing does and seems like I am pretty bad at doing anything at all.

I keep getting a suggestion of everything that I can do but any activity that I do take up makes me realize how incompetent I am and the feeling of being a failure sets in. A weird feeling of panic, anxiety, and fear surrounds me with no way out.

I was taught that an empty brain is a workshop of a devil but what they failed to teach us was that a part of the devil resides within us all as well. We do everything to combat the devil inside but what about the devil outside who everyone seems to ignore and move on with their life.

I know I am rambling again but the act of disillusionment has started taking place with a stronger passion and flame. A flame that might burn me to nothing or give me an awakening which will propel me into something worthwhile.

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